Love never leaves, even if it was only shared for just a moment

It has been quite some time since I last wrote but I felt myself feeling gently urged to enter back into the blogging sphere and so here I am. I have been grieving for a couple of months and perhaps that it why I chose to disappear for a little while for you see the grieving process has taken me quite by surprise. In March of 2014 a lady whose impact and influence on me and onto my general being has far surpassed that of most passed away, her passing had been expected for many years and yet came as quite the surprise because no one truly ever expected her to actually die, it didn't seem like the sort of thing she was going to do having never done it before and she was a creature of habit. Pass away she did and I have been feeling a little strange about it ever since, it's impossible to imagine that she isn't here and sometimes she really isn't but then sometimes she is and it's an odd fact and something I can't explain but I know when she's here and I know when she isn't.

Feeling Fruity

 

 I heard once that it takes 30 days to make a new idea a habit, so I'd like to congratulate myself on my recently developed but now stable habits. I have, after many years, managed to develop a routine that really seems to suit me. My routine is of course centred around food and eating the right food at the right time. I have finally started to really understand the benefits of fruit and have over the last few months begun to eat a lot of varying fruits, not only fruit but I have also invited many different types of vegetables into my daily life by way of balanced and nutritional soups.

 

  Why is she making such a song and dance about this you may be asking yourself. Welllllll dear readers I am making a song and a dance about this because I have spent my life yoyoing from one weight to the next but I haven't yoyo'd anywhere for a few months. I haven't gained weight and I haven't lost weight. I've stayed at the same weight, the heaviest I've ever been but also the healthiest I've ever felt. I've got more energy, I've got more drive, I've got more of lots of things so now that I know how to maintain weight and I also know how to lose it I'm going to get on with the losing it bit. Gone is the toast when I'm hungry, goodbye to the beautiful croquettas, adios to the delicious yet incredibly sugary café con leches that definitely spice up my afternoons a bit. No more vegetables cooked in copious amounts of olive oil and the alcoholic drinking binges are over. Hello to fruit salads during the long break between lunch and supper, fruity herbal teas while I study Spanish during a break at work and a warm welcome to vegetables sautéed in their natural juices. Had I made all of these changes in a day, they wouldn't have lasted and I knew that so I spaced them out and now they feel rather habitual.

  I decided to kick off my new ways by focussing on what I consume. I'm satisfied with that now so I've moved onto exercise. I do some simple stretches before bed, the idea is to improve my muscle strength so that when I purchase a road bike I shall find cycling through rough terrain pleasurable. I've started to think about yoga and just found myself a nice 30 day training course on YouTube. I'm going to start it at the weekend, I shall have to go about finding my centre for this new venture. I'm looking forward to it.

  I had a bit of a moment at Christmas you see, I always have moments over the Christmas period and I've been opting to live a calm life ever since. I thought that it might be nice to start living a very natural life, I've been learning about the health benefits of foods and spices. I really quite fancy being a bit spiritual to be honest with you. I've come to accept myself for who I am you see and who I am is a bit scatty, a bit spontaneous and a bit moody. I'm also a dreamer with a careful side, I'm a worrier, I often compromise my dreams for the sake of feeling safe. I'm a natural risk taker but I've stopped taking risks and I don't think I'll ever be punctual. I watch Coronation Street and do cross stitch patterns 90% of the time when I'm awake at home and I spend the other 10% whatsapping my mother. I really like doing my washing, particularly towels. These are my ingredients, they make me who I am and every now and again I add a new ingredient, sometimes I keep it and sometimes I decide it doesn't flavour my cake properly.

  I think I'll stick with fruit salads, fruit teas (I'm even going to get myself a nice tea glass) and stretching. I think I'll carry on watching Coronation Street while I make nice soups and whatsapp my mother. I daresay that I'll enjoy yoga and I'm looking forward to getting myself a decent pushbike. I can let the towels dry whilst I go out for a nice bike ride. To be quite honest with you, my focus is to remain nice and calm and fill myself up with good stuff. Katy Perry made a relevant point when she put her Roar video out there. Katy doesn't go storming board rooms or making herself well known in her Roar video, she doesn't make a fuss. Katy just gets very good at living in the jungle, she enjoys it, she makes friends with an elephant. It struck me while I was watching Katy Perry be fabulous in the video to Roar that she dedicates her time to living in her environment and with such dedication to embracing life and all of the things in it comes contentment and with this contentment the ability to say goodbye to the past habits that once repeatedly brought you down and a happy reunion with the supple, flexible size 10 that was hiding inside all along.